Living abroad you begin to adore whatever little tastes of home you can get your hands on. Sadly, one of my favourite little Canuck-style indulgences is leaving me. No, I’m not talking about the one shop that sells Clamato. I’m talking about my gay BFF who is leaving me to return to the homeland all too quickly.
As an homage to “rhymes with common”, I have put together this list of reasons why every broad needs a GBF.
- Unlike your girlfriends, he understands that “I feel fat” is relative and not you fishing for a compliment. Sometimes inflated misery just wants to hear, “Hells yeah you feel bloated! You probably shouldn’t have downed that second cupcake if you didn’t want to feel like Lindsey Vonn after her knee injury.”
- He never feels threatened by you.
- Girls give other girls bad advice to make each other feel better. Period. Rest assured, you will never hear this from your GBF, “Oh, honey. So what if he didn’t call you after you drunkenly ended up in his bed! I’m sure he’s just really intimidated by you and is working up the courage.” Nope. You’ll get some advice that makes you feel like a dumb whore, but you probably won’t be making that mistake again.
- He always smells delicious.
- Chances are that he can tell your skin type better than you and will advise accordingly. Exhibit A: this.
- His praises are sincere. This is one guy who’s not trying to get in your pants, and we know the boy can’t keep his true opinion a secret.
- His dirty jokes sometimes shock even you.
- He showed you firsthand how men view Tinder as just as much of a fuck-on-the-run app as Grinder – it just takes a little more massaging for the heterosexuals.
- His real life stories. How is this real life?
- When you speak about your love for Marc, Christian, Louis or Alexander he just gets it. (And, no, straight boys who are reading this, these are not names of bisexual men.)
Gonna miss you, B! xo
