No one has more accurately depicted a girls desire to appear effortless than Kristin Wiig in the opening scene of Bridesmaids. There she is in the wee hours of the morning touching up her makeup and adjusting “the girls” before sneaking back into bed and gently waking her man. She then stages her own mock wake up, and calmly take his praises with “Oh, I’m sure I look terrible. I just woke up. Are you kidding? I’m sure I’m a mess.” Genius.
Don’t lie. We’ve all been there.
How about when your mother phones and tells you she’s a few blocks away and wants to drop off the casserole dish you left at her place? Did you realize you could vacuum the entire apartment and pull one of your casual dresses into an entire outfit in less than five minutes? Well you can. But that doesn’t alleviate the stress you have the entire time she’s around, worried that she’ll get an urge to pop open your oven and find the stash of dirty dishes you just hid there.
How many times have you found out that your ex’s new girlfriend will be at the same holiday party as you, and all of a sudden last season’s dress is no longer good enough to re-wear? You spend the next 4 hours miraculously fitting in a hair appointment, fresh manicure, eyebrow waxing and the time to find the exact dress and shoes Mila Kunis wore on her last red carpet. All of this hassle for the ten second encounter you share exchanging pleasantries, including some form of, “Oh, this old thing?” before you divide and avoid each other for the remainder of the soiree.
Or when you try to make a grand gesture for your staff by picking up a round of coffees, only to realize you forgot to bring one for your own PA. “Oh gosh, Jackie! This one I’m holding is for YOU. I completely blanked on how you like yours so I got you my favourite! Sorry about the lipstick ring, I couldn’t resist. No, no, I didn’t want one. I’m still wired from my coffee at 7am.” Oops.
So here’s my question: If we all do it, why do we still do it?
When your mother pops over you dash around your house like a lunatic doing the exact same thing you learned from her in the first place! Although she did the best juggling job she could, Gran definitely knew the freshly steamed carpets weren’t always in that state. And you’re not fooling your mother either.
When it comes to the ex’s new lady, I’m sure you were too preoccupied with how you looked to even notice what colour her dress was, let alone the designer or how she chose to accessorize herself. Chances are, she doesn’t remember what the hell you had on either. So you could have read that next chapter you were itching to read instead of blowing your budget on a pointless interaction.
The coffee scenario is a clear example of how the dance-around can end up being more elaborate than the truth. Own up to it by throwing her a couple of bucks and sending her to grab her own cuppa joe.
I think it’s about time we cut the bullshit. We all have excess on our plates, and no one’s fooling anyone by pretending it all happens by magic. We should be proud of the work we put in to what we achieve and how we present ourselves. Otherwise we are discounting our own hard work!
Let’s all stop trying so hard to look like we aren’t trying so hard.
@broad_world
@StefanieMcAuley
