Every now and then, I push myself. Really, really push myself. To test my limits. To see how how far I can go. To discover new things about myself. About the world. To see what else is out there.
And year after year, the more I nudge myself outside my comfort zone the more I realize how addicted I am to the feeling of doing something for the first time. Almost to prove to myself that I can keep getting better, smarter, stronger.
So last summer on a whim, I signed up for a 200-Hour Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training. Yes I had been thinking about it for a while but I just never thought I’d be ready. And just like that I went with my gut. Like every time I’ve ever made a good decision. Totally and whole-heartedly listened to something inside saying: jump!
So I did.
Then October came and the training started.
I found myself on the first day of the first intensive week feeling like I had set myself up for failure.
In the first few hours, I had already met a handful of the 50 yogis doing the training only to find out that some owned their own yoga studio, some were already teaching, and some practiced 6 times a week. 6 times a week?! Was I totally crazy to think practicing 3 days a week was enough for me to jump into this?
So I did what I always do when faced with a challenge, I trick my brain into believing that I can do it. How? I just focus on the present. I don’t think of the huge task at hand. I just think of the baby steps I’m gonna take to get to where I need to go. And somehow every day, I end up a little closer to where I need to be.
That first week of training kicked my butt. More than it’s ever been kicked.
The getting up at 5:30am every day. The 5 hours of practice a day. The anatomy classes. The adjustment classes. The Pranayama (the breathing practice). The meditation. All of it, kicked my butt. It kicked it so hard that I was passed out every night at 9pm. Me the night owl, passed out. And that was just the start.
For the next 3 months, I carved out time from my work schedule to practice, to observe classes, to do the homework, to take the online classes and to do all the reading.
It was intense. But I was learning and growing so much every day that it was a little addictive.
Then the last and final week of exams came.
And boy did I not feel ready. I had worked so hard. I had done so many hours. But I somehow felt like I knew nothing. Way less than I did at the beginning. Maybe that’s the thing with learning. The more you know, the less you think you know.
To graduate we had to submit a final exam, turn in a book report, do a practical adjusting exam and teach our first class. Yes, I had to get up in front of my peers, in front of yogis way better than me, and teach.
I’ve always been good at public speaking and teaching in what I do for a living but this was different. This was about a subject that I knew way less about. And not only did I have to teach a sequence of poses and plan out a class, I had to inspire my class through a theme, a story. They had to leave the class better than they came. That was the biggest challenge.
I signed up to do the teacher training because I wanted to kick my butt. Little did I know that what I was going to get out of it was a transformative life experience. One that is so much bigger than just a physical practice.
During my last week, while prepping and teaching my class and being with all my fellow yogis I discovered a world that was supportive, constructive, genuine and most of all loving. A place where people- mostly women- were kind to each other and not afraid to show their vulnerability. Because here, in our little yoga bubble, vulnerability meant being courageous and strong and most of all human.
Now, if only the outside world could learn a thing or two from our little bubble.
I have been blessed enough to get to know the talented and positively infectious Mira over the last year, and am grateful to have her as a contributor here on @broad_world.
When Mira isn’t on her mat (or SUP!) she can be found chasing down one of her other passions… be sure to check out her page at
miramiramira.com
This is one broad who is always striving for more, and we look forward to more story sharing and insight from this beauty!